after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
