I think my vagina is haunted
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
