my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
