I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
