His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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