problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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