your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
