My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
