Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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