dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
