Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
