he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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