Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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