i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
