fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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