How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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