I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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