fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
