I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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