It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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