I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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