Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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