dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
