Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
