I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
