Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
