Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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