I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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