Define "chronic" masturbator.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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