look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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