I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
