You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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