what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize