I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
