My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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