he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My vagina just recognized that song.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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