Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
