You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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