I hate all girls vehemently.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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