$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
