the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
