I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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