she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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