Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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