Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
