if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
