Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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