Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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