My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
