As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
