I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
