but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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