Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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