Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
