I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
wow bdsm is so cute
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