Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
